Tag Archives: humor

Party

“This is Chuck Klosterman filling in for Steve who-the-fuck on CNN. As you can see the from the scene behind me chaos has erupted on the Senate floor. Newsroom, this is the epitome of a pizza party gone awry.”

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Closed

Closed. Not a word generally considered ominous but when it’s written on the airlock leading to the last escape pod it takes on a bit more sinister undertone. There was a whoosh. Update: formerly connected to the last escape pod.

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Physically repulsed

I swiped right. In retrospect that was probably the big mistake. Well, the big mistake was probably answering the message. Well, the big mistake was probably agreeing to meet, but swiping right was probably the first big mistake, in this … Continue reading

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Word Duel: Frying Warrior

Hiro pressed the flat of his spatula into his omelet making it sizzle. Then he flipped the omelet into the air above his head. Fast as a lighting flash he unsheathed the short blade at his hip, slicing the omelet … Continue reading

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Word Duel: Napkin Riot

The electricity had been out for a week. Now flames covered half the city and no one knew what happened to the fire department. Eddie ducked under an SUV as an angry mob carrying rags soaked in gasoline moved up … Continue reading

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Word Duel: Badgers

When you buy a house near water you understand you’re taking on certain inherent risks. Floods are more likely, college kids going skinny dipping may occasionally pass out in your irises, the ground will just be generally muddy in the … Continue reading

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Word Duel: Cue Ball

I’ve waited my whole life for a movie like this to come along. No matter how it turns out, it’s a huge victory for my people. This movie is going to raise awareness for their struggles. But It’ll be more … Continue reading

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X Post Resource Magazine: 12 Tips For Taking The Perfect Selfie

My editor at Resource Magazine asked me to write a tutorial post on taking the perfect selfie. Now, I’ve never been overly fond of them, probably because I tend to make a weird face when I’m anticipating a photograph. Also … Continue reading

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Word Duel: Extinguish

Standing over the smoldering ruins of my bed, fire extinguisher in hand, I knew my relationship was over. It wasn’t her screaming obscenities at me, or the rhythmic cry of the smoke alarm in the hall, or the white residue … Continue reading

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X Post Daily Syndrome: Soviet Doctor Performs first Auto-Appendectomy.

The soviets had a certain reputation for being unflinching, bat-shit insane, hard asses. A lot of that probably had to do with American movies portraying them that way so that they they would make good foils for our boxing movies. … Continue reading

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