He couldn’t have been a day under 70. His gray hair hung straight down past his shoulders and deep wrinkles lined his face. He was sitting on the cement lip of a flowerbed smoking a cigarette, opposite a sign that read, “no smoking beyond this point.” Continue reading
“This is Chuck Klosterman filling in for Steve who-the-fuck on CNN. As you can see the from the scene behind me chaos has erupted on the Senate floor. Newsroom, this is the epitome of a pizza party gone awry.”
Closed.
Not a word generally considered ominous but when it’s written on the airlock leading to the last escape pod it takes on a bit more sinister undertone. There was a whoosh.
Update: formerly connected to the last escape pod. Continue reading
I swiped right. In retrospect that was probably the big mistake. Well, the big mistake was probably answering the message. Well, the big mistake was probably agreeing to meet, but swiping right was probably the first big mistake, in this story anyway. I’ve made other mistakes. Continue reading
Hiro pressed the flat of his spatula into his omelet making it sizzle. Then he flipped the omelet into the air above his head. Fast as a lighting flash he unsheathed the short blade at his hip, slicing the omelet twice before it fell perfectly into the plate that seemed to appear in his outstretched hand. Hiro took his lunch to the living room to eat and watch some dull daytime American television.
He clicked on the tv and he was disappointed but not surprised to see himself in full samurai armor, an intense, stoic look in his eye, staring back at him. He looked from his TV image to his kimono covered belly, poking it with the back of the fork.
Jiggle.
The electricity had been out for a week. Now flames covered half the city and no one knew what happened to the fire department. Eddie ducked under an SUV as an angry mob carrying rags soaked in gasoline moved up the street. As the mob made their was past, Eddie sighed. Didn’t they know how bad that smoke was for the environment?
When you buy a house near water you understand you’re taking on certain inherent risks. Floods are more likely, college kids going skinny dipping may occasionally pass out in your irises, the ground will just be generally muddy in the Spring. I knew all this. I was okay with it. But I was not okay with the badgers. They became violent. Which no one warned me about, and my insurance guy says isn’t covered.
GenCon is the largest and longest running gaming convention in North America. Every August close to 200,000 geeks descend upon Indianapolis for four days of unapologetic nerdines. Anywhere there are enough nerds in one place cosplayers will be there. Check out my cosplay gallery from the convention on Modern Man Jack and a few bonus images just for the FAS below.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine told me that his band would be putting on a show and that it was going to be “a little different.” After the show he asked if I would review it. Naturally I said I would be because it was awesome. There’s the short version right there. The longer one is below.
Space. The final frontier.
I love space. Space is so awesome that it can make anything better just by being associated with it. Do you want to be a janitor, no? How about a space janitor? Maybe. It still sounds way better than being a regular janitor. That works with any job by the way. Lawyer–space lawyer. Doctor–space doctor. Septic tank pumper–there is no space septic tank pumper, you just blast that shit at the Sun.
As awesome as space is, it’s not without its dangers. Obviously you need to be on the lookout for Daleks, signs your computer system is becoming homicidal, and alien races trying to steal your science officer’s brain. But that’s just where the dangers begin. This week on Daily Syndrome I cover four unexpected dangers of space travel.
The Flashlight Adventure Series 